I went with a burrito, a supposed staple of the chain. Since a proper burrito is greater than the sum of it's parts; lets break it on down, part by part:

1. the shell - disappointing in texture, taste and I could not tell if it was properly cooked or not as all the ones I make at home have some browning. This one was uniform in color - the color of school paste. I have not eaten paste in a very long time but the shell did have that same raw flour taste you get from undercooked breads. It did however contain the ingredients nicely with only a halff dozen places it tore through. I'll give it a C-, although a D would be more fair.

2. the rice - once agian it was undercooked with hard bits of grain. How anyone can mess up rice with a rice cooker is beyond me. I cook rice with a pot, water, rice and my finger as a measuring device. This chain probably has hundreds or thousands invested in a rice cooker and it comes out undercooked. I'll give it a C

3. the beans - over salted which could be why they were tough. How anyone can mess up beans is a mystery to me but I guess Chipolte's has it as an art form. This also rates a C

4. the sauce - I chose Salsa Rojo (red), it was ok, actually it was pretty unremarkable. I could not taste the type of chili that was used, no black pepper, no herbs, no spices, it's bland and disturbing all at once. What the hell is in a sauce that has no remarkable tastes? Scratch that, I'm pretty sure I don't want to know. It was also supposed to be hot, but it would have disappointed many 4 year olds I know in my family. It scores a D for mis-representation.

5. the store - it was somewhat clean; lots of tables had garbage stacked on them but there was only 4 people in the entire place eating. I got my order to go and was only teased by the sauce bar. No limes were available, maybe it was the crush of 4 whole diners doing it. No containers for hot sauce were available, I asked and was told sorry, they are out. At least the person on the rigister that was handling the money only touched the wrapper of my meal. Oh that's right I have to unwrap it to eat it. I guess I cannot let it touch the plate, then I can't touch it having touched the wrapper, then Y have to run to the can and wash my hands. Yea that's some great sanitation. I'll give them a D for effort.

Overall score is C-, not worthy of the much ballyhooed awesomeness. It was an over all underwhelming experience. I also have a leaden feeling in my stomach. Maybe I'm just full but this is not a satisfying fullness.

Michael Means